I’m afraid to make phone calls

By Krystle Lilliestierna.

My armpits feel sweaty as I push the phone around in my hand. I look down at the sticky note where I’ve scribbled the number. The ink is smeared a little and I start to panic.” Did I write the number down right?!”

Listening to my voicemail for the hundredth time confirms: yes, it’s the right number. His name is Tony and he wants to talk to me about my business Visa application.

That’s when the voices start and my head explodes.

I jot down answers to everything he could possibly ask. When my script is finished, I feel a little better. At least if I get tongue-tied I can look at my notes.

I make excuses for the next hour until I feel nauseous and disappointed in myself.

PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL.

I finally do it.

It ends up that Tony is very nice and helpful. I only needed to reference my script once, and overall I didn’t sound like a complete idiot. He even convinced the bank to approve me for over double the credit.

Not so bad. Maybe next time it will be easier.


 
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Krystle Lilliestierna is an art director in Detroit who enjoys cuddling with her kitties, eating Pringles and painting.

This Fear Confession was originally published on Happy Muses, November 19, 2012.

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