I’m afraid I’m still figuring it out

By Anne Marie.

THE DIFFERENCE

I want to tell you a story about fear;

I have so many from which to choose.

I can tell you the one that makes
my fingers hide into my palms,
fear that everyone will unfurl from me
like leaves from autumn branches.

Although, being alone never leaves me
shaking my head and swallowing my lips
as much as my mind’s constant
turning of this cold thought: it’s all been the wrong choice
how I got here, why I’m here,
why I’ve left so many places;
this doubt now that homemay not be home and now
where is it that I should go?
Still, this is not my best story
my greatest fear. I want to tell you
about the one the that stops my breath
hunches my shoulders to my neck:
this worry that stops and unmoves me:
I have nothing to offer.

There exist far prettier faces,
countless more brilliant minds.
I have no talent for art or song.
I have only these words and yet

in other hands this story would be a poem,
sounding like bells in crisp winter air.
This is the doubt that closes my throat.
I have and will never make a difference.


 
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Anne Marie is a multi-creative talent, living in Detroit, MI. By day, she works as a project consultant for a large non-profit. Outside of her corporate gig, she has done everything from running her own pop-up improv organization, co-hosting a podcast, running social media for a literary journal, and co-founding a creative salon. Currently, you can find her volunteering as the host of Creative Mornings Detroit, performing with her improv troupe, working on her poetry collection, or hanging out with her movie club / book club(s), or BBQ club. (Yes, that's a thing, and yes, everyone should have one!)


This Fear Confession was originally published on Happy Muses, Feb 26, 2013.

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